My wife has a new blog. All about being a vegan. I encourage all of you to check it out. If you dont…well…just check it out!
It has been a while since my last post. A lot of people are probably wondering where I have been/doing/eating/sleeping/painting/viewing/having sex with/reading/philanthropic endeavors/exercising/making fun of. So, without further ado….
I have been home.
I have been looking for a new job and apartment.
I am eating cherries (literally, right now, as I am typing this, there is a cherry in my mou…nevermind, it is no longer in my mouth…i chew and swallow quick).
I have been sleeping in a bed in my house.
I haven’t painted shit. (I don’t like painting excrement).
I have been peeping out my window at my neighbor viewing many birds.
I have been nay having sex :(
I want to say that I have been reading. So I am going to say that I have been reading. Just got done with reading Antidisestablishmentarianism and You: What Your Government says about The Church of England.
I donated a dollar to a convienence store. And in turn, I received 4 Little Debbies. Some may call this a purchase and not in fact a donation.
I have been doing minimal exercise.
And lastly, I have probably been making fun of you. Seriously, I was just talking about you the other day. And people laughed. Cause I told them that awkward story of when you made out with your cousin.
UPDATE: I have been also having phone sex. It is more difficult than regular sex as trying to stick your penis in the receiver can sometimes hurt.
Jesus had enough of this boat race. He decided to show “boat” (hell yeah I just punned the shit out of that) and beat his opponent on foot.
I just thought this was funny. Charles Barkley attempting to golf. It’s almost like when he attempts to speak.
On September 25th 2008, I posted on this very blog that there was a bet in place; a bet of epic proportions. Anyway, I just wanted to let my readers know the news…I LOST!! It was a hard fought battle between me and my ever-so-rapidly growing facial-pubic hair, but in the end, the pubus won.
Last Thursday at approximately 1:30PM EST, I informed my co-worker Betty (who knows a thing or two about facial hair herself as she was Garibaldi’s facial hair-stylist) (that’s right, I am making fun of her age) that I was sick of this thing growing on my face and that I was going home to shave. She didn’t believe me. I was serious. DEAD serious. It took me a little over an hour to finally reach smooth-skin bliss…and it was worth all the time.
Many people had mixed reactions towards it.”How could you shave? You only had a month to go!” were some reactions. “Ewwww, that’s what your face looks like?” were others. I am happy I shaved. In the end, it’s all about how I feel, right? And even though I lost out on a substanstial amount of benjamins, I feel it was the right move.
It’s that time of the year again ladies and gents and trannies. Time for what you ask? For me to give you my list of favorite things from the past year and maybe even a sneak peak into what I am looking forward to in MMIX.In no particular order…
And now for my Miss Cleo picks for 2009…
Being bored at work gives you the ability to do many things; online banking, donate to your favorite charity, read, actually do some work, or my favorite: search the WWW (that’s world wide web fyi) (that’s for your information lol) (that’s laughing at loud fyi). Anyway, today I went to gary.com, you know, just to see if it was my website that I made years ago and forgot to update. Turns out it isn’t my website. But this guy’s…
Do it. Go to Gary.com. That is all that’s up on this site. This guy. What does your name.com result in? Try it out. Cause this guy (well I can probably just refer to “this guy” as gary by now) amused the shit out of me today.
A little more than a month ago I asked all my readers (like 4 of you) to tell me what their favorite item was and I would determine a winner and that winner would win a prize and that the winner would then teach me how to use a period and not use run-on sentences all the time. Anyway. Keith start a drumroll please.The winner is….
A TIE!!!!
It was an extremely close race. Well, not really. Keith said his fleshlite and Alannah said her new R4 for her Nintendo DS. Since I can’t make a final decision I have left it up to Keith and Alannah to write a little something about the other person’s item. Tell me why it sucks and why your item doesn’t suck.
